Email School: What To Teach Kids About Email Safety, Best Practices, and Ideas To Try

Lesson. Your child’s first email: Why and when

In this section, let’s talk about the essentials of email for kids. We’ll cover security and all of the important questions each parent needs to address. 

Why does your kid need an email address?

Your kid may not use an email address for the email itself, but it is the entryway to other internet spaces like social media, educational and gaming websites, and more. Here is a dramatic reenactment of what your kid’s experience on the web without an email could look like:

There are other, more surprising, use cases. For example, some frequent flyer programs also require each person to have an email address. So if you plan to use the miles your kid has accumulated while traveling, you might need to set up an email for them.

Beyond that, some kids can use email to communicate with their grandparents who don’t use social networks. In this case, an email can help them express themselves, connect them with their family, and write better. You can even write to your children yourself when they are old enough to hold long-form written conversations. Blogger Lou Imbriano uses different channels to share advice with his kids, email included. 

But tough questions and issues arise from the get-go. Though a kid needs an email to register on parent-approved websites and social media, they can also use it for something else. For example, one mother has discovered that her son created a public Instagram account to share his feelings with the whole web. There is no indication that the boy did so using an email created by his mother, but once you set up an inbox for your child, something similar might happen. When you decide whether or not your child should have an inbox, it’s important to understand the implications and set boundaries if you find it necessary.

When should your kid have an email address?

According to the US federal Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA), kids must be 13 years or older to register their email addresses.  More precisely, COPPA sets requirements for online services that are directed to children under 13 or knowingly collect personal information from them. Email provider rules also vary by country and by service, so check the provider’s current child-account policy before setup.

Here is a snippet explaining Gmail’s stance on the policy. Other inbox providers may apply different rules.

However, most people believe there is no set age at which a child should have an email account of their own. 

Despite the legal reasoning, only you as a parent or guardian can decide when it’s time. You have to understand whether the kid is ready to take this responsibility. Some may arrive at it when they are 13, others — when they are older or younger. Some parents choose to create a family email first to test the waters and see whether their kid can handle the responsibility. 

Although you might want to create an email for your kid as late as possible, there is merit to allowing them to have one earlier. For example, author Liat Hughes Joshi opened an account for her son when he was five. She believes that starting early can help him safely learn to use email under her guidance. If her son had been older when she made the account, Liat Hughes Joshi argues he wouldn’t have let her monitor it and help him navigate the internet. 

An early start can also help your kid understand and master email etiquette well before they need to use it for university or professional communication. We are not child psychologists or cybersecurity specialists, of course, so take our recommendations as just that — suggestions, but not rules set in stone. 

Exercise. Creating an email account for your kid

If you decide that your kid is ready to have an email address, here is a quick how-to covering the most important (and sometimes overlooked) aspects of the process. 

Selecting an inbox provider

When it comes to an email client for your kid, you can go with the regular Gmails and Outlooks of the world or choose a dedicated provider for kids. Let’s briefly explore both of these options.

Before you choose a provider, answer a few questions: does your child need the inbox now? Who will know the address? Does the provider support the parental controls you need? Can you reset or recover the account? Do you need forwarding, trusted contacts, or approval queues? What rules will your child follow before using the inbox independently?

Regular inbox providers also often have parental control options: 

Gmail has a tool called “Family Link” for adult supervision of compatible devices and Google services. It allows parents to set screen time for their kids, manage their personal data and account details, and delete the account. However, it’s impossible to read a kid’s emails or messages, plus, after 13, a kid can remove supervision on their own, with parents receiving a notification about it. You can also create a regular Gmail account for your kid and set up forwarding to your inbox or add a kid’s account to your own inbox to send and receive emails on their behalf. A Gmail account for a kid under 13 has no ads or automatic forwarding and is unavailable offline, amongst other features.

Microsoft Outlook has many of the same features in its Family Safety. It is available as part of a paid Microsoft 365 Family subscription ($12.99 a month for up to 6 people). Parents can manage kids’ data and screen time on compatible devices or Microsoft apps and Xbox, and set up content filters. Beyond that, parents can only use regular email forwarding. 

Besides these two popular options, you can also research iCloud and Zoho Mail — both provide some options for parents and their kids.

For this article, we have chosen two email services specifically for kids and their parents:

KidsEmail is a paid service catered towards parents of kids and teens with an iOS app. Using this provider, parents can create a contacts list so that only people from it can send emails or receive them from the kid. It’s also possible to restrict certain attachment types, disable links and images, and monitor incoming mail before sending it to the kid’s inbox. Eventually, the email handle can be changed from @kidsemail.org to @kmail.org when the child gets older, so that they can still keep their address without revealing that it is an email for kids. Check KidsEmail’s current trial and subscription terms before choosing a plan.

Tocomail is another paid service with parental control features. This provider has apps in Apple’s App Store, Google Play, and Amazon Appstore, so it’s a good choice for kids who already use a smartphone. With the apps, parents can accept or reject emails for their kids right from the notifications. Tocomail has two email lists: a Safe list of pre-approved contacts and a supervised Monitored list that a kid can add addresses to. There is also a family chat and a simplified account interface for younger kids. Check Tocomail’s current trial and subscription terms before choosing a plan.

How do you choose an inbox provider? 

Think about your child’s digital literacy and responsibility, and take into account your free time. If you’d like more control over your kid’s inbox and can monitor it regularly, opt for dedicated services. And if you only need to oversee the time your child spends on the app and are okay with simple forwarding, go with Gmail, Outlook, and the like. We suggest using a dedicated inbox for kids for children under 13 and switching to a regular email provider after that. You can also read Data Privacy Strategist Cat Coode’s post exploring the pros and cons of each option.

Naming a kid’s email address

The best idea is probably not to use the child’s full name as an email handle. Moreover, you should fill in a moniker in the name field when setting up the account and not disclose the real age of your child if it’s not necessary for setting up parental control.

You should also use an email that doesn’t include personal information like the age, phone number, or location of your kid. At the same time, try to come up with something your child will like and easily remember. Also, keep in mind that your kid may use the same address throughout school years, so choose something future-proof and maybe not something like pawpatroller1234. 

We suggest you work on the email handle together with your kid, though the results can be different: 

Creating and managing a password

As with any other account, you should come up with a good password and store it properly. Basic safety rules apply, of course, so:

• Don’t use names or birthdates.
• Use a combination of uppercase and lowercase letters, numbers, and symbols for security.
• Set up two-factor authentication for extra security: in this case, you will need to receive an SMS to your or your kid’s phone to reset the password and authorize logins into the account.

You can generate a safe password (which can look like a random, hardly memorable combination of letters, symbols, and numbers) and then store it in your password manager. But this way, your kid probably won’t remember it and will need to go to you for each new login. We suggest you come up with a strong password that your kid can actually retain.

Setting up the account

When you have created an email account for your kid, you need to finish the setup. Take your time to:

• Personalize privacy settings.
• Set up parental control if it is possible in the tool of your choice.
• Set up forwarding if you need to.
• Create a list of trusted contacts (like your email address or emails of your family and kid’s friends), so it’s easy for your kid to use and restrict unauthorized communication if needed and possible.
• Add your email as a backup for password resets, etc.
• Set up spam filters for emails that include certain words, attachments, and more.

Plus, explore other options available in the email inbox provider you chose. 

Having “the talk”

This part is probably the most important one. You need to talk with your kid and explain how to use an email safely and what to do in various common situations.

Here are some of the topics you need to address:

• How to identify common spam emails and what to do when your kid encounters them.
• What phishing is and how to avoid it. 
• Why it’s important not to share passwords or personal information with others, especially strangers.  
• How to forward emails and send them to multiple recipients.
• What to do if someone is being a bully.
• How to write personal and professional (for example, school) emails.

You can make the talk easier by turning it into simple rules your child can repeat: show me before opening attachments from unknown senders; do not reply to messages that ask for passwords, codes, photos, your address, school, or money; ask before using this email to sign up for a new service; tell me if someone asks to move a conversation elsewhere; forward suspicious messages to a parent; and remember that mistakes are something to fix together, not hide.

You can use guidebooks and pointers to better explain cybersecurity and digital literacy to your kid. For example, there is a Be Internet Awesome Family guide from Google or Build & Talk activities from LEGO.

Apart from the talking part, you also need to make sure your kid trusts you and will speak to you if something out of the ordinary or uncomfortable happens. Kids can be scared of punishment for mistakes or “bad” behavior, so you should comfort them and explain that you won’t overreact and will help them with anything.

Monitoring

This last step isn’t as much a one-time task as it is a practice and a new part of your routine as a parent or guardian. After you set up an email account for your kid, you need to figure out a way to monitor their inbox. If you enable forwarding or use a service that offers email queues, you don’t need to do anything apart from checking your own inbox. If not, you should pick a time frame for when you need to log in to your child’s account. For example, you may want to check it once every two weeks.

For screen time monitoring, content filtering, and other parental control tools, you may need to adjust the settings on your kid’s device, in apps that have this functionality, or in dedicated apps. You may also set up network-wide controls that can affect all devices in your Wi-Fi area.

Of course, the decision whether to monitor the account or not is yours to make. Depending on the age of a child, their willingness to follow the rules, and their digital literacy, you may find that the privacy concerns outweigh the security ones or vice versa. Whatever you decide, we recommend you talk to your kid about it and inform them about the monitoring.

It also helps to define what monitoring means in your family. For a younger child, it might mean full inbox access. For an older one, it might mean forwarded account-security and purchase emails, scheduled check-ins, or emergency-only access. Revisit the agreement as your child becomes more independent.

It’s important to note, though, that monitoring can prevent dangerous situations and help to mitigate risks associated with having an online presence.

Email worksheet: Ideas to try out

Reserve an email address with your children’s full names when they are young

It’s not a good idea to use an email address with your kid’s full legal name when they are underage and can be exposed to spammers. But you can create an account for later and simply not use it before it is needed. This way, when your child needs to have an email for professional communications, they don’t need to worry about it.

Write your kids emails into the future

If you decide to use the previous idea, you can combine it with this one. Though it’s hard to find the origin of the idea, some parents have started to write their kids emails as a way to capture everyday moments. The concept is similar to baby books of the previous generations and aims to provide warm, letter-esque entries to one day share with the child. If you go with this one, though, don’t forget to regularly log in to this account and check the “memory inbox” so that the email clients do not remove it because of the lack of activity. 

Email finals

Email is a gateway to the internet and many digital services for both adults and kids. It’s the parents’ and guardians’ role to help children navigate email communication and their inboxes safely and responsibly. 

Before launch, confirm the provider choice, account recovery method, parent access or forwarding rules, trusted contacts, spam/filter settings, app/device controls, password storage, and the child-facing safety rules.

When you know why your kid needs an account and decide that it should happen now, follow these steps:

1. Select an inbox provider.
2. Name the email address.
3. Create and safely store the password.
4. Set up the account.
5. Talk to your kid about security and possible challenging situations.
6. Periodically monitor the account if you believe it is necessary.